As a young preteen, I attended Gam-Anon meetings with my parents due to my dad’s gambling addiction. This is where I first heard the Serenity Prayer.  The Serenity Prayer reads: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The Serenity Prayer encourages acceptance, courage, and wisdom. Little did I know that as a young girl I would be forced to attend what felt like boring Gam-Anon meetings, when in reality, listening, learning, and hearing that Serenity Prayer said repeatedly taught me so much about courage and wisdom. I regularly attended these meetings with my parents and gained wisdom I didn’t realize I would apply throughout my life. The group recited the Serenity Prayer aloud before the meeting started. The Serenity Prayer was also spoken again at the end. I listened attentively to how each person in attendance found peace in accepting the things they could not change, sought strength to find the courage to change what they could, and acquired the wisdom to know the difference.  

When Jeff was diagnosed with cancer, the Serenity Prayer became vital to my survival during those three and a half years we battled cancer and fought for more time. Courage and wisdom were essential to navigate the battleground of cancer while keeping our love intact. I tapped into my inner strength to find the courage to take consistent action wherever possible. Embracing the Serenity Prayer, I recognized that there were some things beyond our control, but also circumstances we could influence. I remember asking God for the wisdom to help me discern the difference, enabling me to choose which battles we would courageously face and how we would confront them. It was in those moments of wisdom in the Serenity Prayer that I found acceptance and peace regarding Jeff’s terminal diagnosis. Through this wisdom of the Serenity Prayer, I learned to summon my courage and fight daily for over three years, continually praying to God not to alter our circumstances but instead to grant me the wisdom to recognize what I could influence. For me, the Serenity Prayer serves as a powerful reminder that when I’m confronted with seemingly insurmountable challenges in life, I should draw upon my courage to focus on what I can control, let go of what I cannot control, and trust in a higher power for strength and wisdom. After losing my love, I continued to rely on the Serenity Prayer as I grieved and healed. I had to learn to accept that Jeff would never wake up next to me calling me “Honeybee” and that I would never feel his touch again. I faced countless painful truths that I had to force myself to accept in order to survive the aching healing process. Leaning on the Serenity Prayer, I prayed daily for God to help me find the courage to recognize what I could change and the wisdom to understand the difference between circumstances that could and could not be altered. In moments of reflection and wisdom, I discovered my courage to act on what I could change. I allowed myself space and grace to move through the pain as I began to build a new life, one that painfully did not include Jeff.  

While I couldn’t change the fact that Jeff was no longer with me every day, I could find the courage and strength to carry his memory and honor our love.

The Serenity Prayer has impacted my life in countless ways during turbulent times when I needed guidance, wisdom, and courage. Though I couldn’t see it then, I am grateful that I attended those Gam-Anon meetings with my parents; without that experience, I might not have discovered the Serenity Prayer, tapped into my resilience, and persevered through a time when I felt utterly broken.